Oh, seems like I'm always on my own, Seems like I'm never coming home
Posted by Drew | Posted in About Me , afraid , Girls , life , love , past , relationships | Posted on 2:01 PM
3
One last phone call from you, it wouldn't hurt much,
I'd just like to hear your voice and pretend to touch,
Any inch of you that hasn't said it all or read it all
Or sung my life away
Any inch of you that hasn't said it all or read it all
Or sung my life away
I've been doing a lot of thinking lately, about my life and my past relationships. I guess to fully understand this you'd need a little history of where I've been, but I don't really have the time to get into that. Maybe sometime.
To put it in simple terms though, I have always been afraid of commitment. I know, I know a typical guy right? There have been multiple people (both guys and girls) that I have passed up dating, and then realized after that I should have. When I have that epiphany about being with them it's far too late, and apparently second chances are way too much to ask for. I'm sure as I get further into this blog and give a history you'll understand what I mean.
I'm really stuck on one girl right now, and as I actually think about this I've been stuck on her for years. I never made a full move to try being in a full relationship with her though because I always saw flaws in her, and would focus too much on the differences between us. I had spent time looking for the "perfect" person to be with, and now I know that no one is perfect and the flaws that she did have were ones that I could have easily ignored or made compromises for in order for the love I would give to her and receive from her.
The only problem is that now she has a boyfriend, and a serious one. She had dated guys in the past, but they were always ones that I was never afraid were very serious relationships for her. Let's face it too, I'm approaching, or have gotten to, a time in my life where a lot of people are thinking about or have already settled down. Friends are marrying and while I don't really want to settle down this soon, I can't help but feel lonely when I see it happening around me and I know I don't have the one girl I've truly loved. My biggest fear is that she will marry the guy she is dating now.
Do I think she is happy with him? She might be.
Do I think she could be just as happy, if not happier with me? I do.
Will I ever get another chance? I doubt it, and maybe I don't deserve it either.
